Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alldavedup

Offline (the 01/14/2015 at 4:09pm) | Search for a member

alldavedup

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 609
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About alldavedup : to speak is to have purpose, i have no purpose but that of which to speak.

alldavedup's page activity

Visits<b>Chadica</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:42am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:16pm<b>keepcalmandbacon</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:16pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 1:06am<b>CAPTmok</b> - the 06/12/2011 at 6:43am<b>babygirl1023</b> - the 05/27/2011 at 6:35pm<b>smulen</b> - the 05/23/2011 at 3:30am<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 8:55am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 10:04pm

alldavedup's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of alldavedup's badges

alldavedup's favorite FMLs

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26490) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (2747)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (3914)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (4439)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (3520)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (12595)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

#19219281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (3712)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:28am - misc - by DamnDogs (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (36134)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8874) - you deserved it (38796)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

#17606157
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (7735)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:10pm - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9521) - you deserved it (32526)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

#16694485
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (12079)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by catlover - China

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

#16169595
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (3848)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

#15741918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42316) - you deserved it (2944)

On 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by bananaman - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: