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aliyourpally's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
by surfergal91 / 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Average / 02/13/2011 at 2:16am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
by themanzz / 10/08/2010 at 8:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…