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alival

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alival
  • Town/Country : Chicago, U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 October 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1886
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About alival : Hey! I'm alison but you can call me Ali! I looove motionless in white, falling in reverse, blessthefall, and all time low! I am a proud child of the night/creature whichever floats your boat! I love talking to new people so if you wanna know more about me send me a message!

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alival's favorite FMLs

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (103138)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19088) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

#18932189
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (2491)

On 01/28/2012 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Innocent (man) -

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML

#18931669
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (2258)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

#18931517
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/28/2012 at 3:35am - intimacy - by BigDT (man) -

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33838) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (4163)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (37894)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (28623)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (9296)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32928) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32928) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (45861)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)



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