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alijo13

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 4:17am) | Search for a member

alijo13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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alijo13's page activity

Visits<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:06am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:49pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 12:27am

alijo13's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of alijo13's badges

alijo13's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (8585)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

#21422808
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (7823)

On 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by Wrabel (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (2541)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (5537)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (4089)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47189) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52783) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59672) - you deserved it (28455)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (6819)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50061) - you deserved it (6265)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (6987)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50898) - you deserved it (7920)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (7073)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (53905)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)



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