Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alexmisty88

Offline (the 01/25/2016 at 10:59pm) | Search for a member

alexmisty88

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 999
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 19 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alexmisty88's page activity

Visits<b>Soccersensation</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Shane557</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:40am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:32am<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:50pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:00pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 12:57am<b>katie1243</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:31pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:53pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:52am<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:46am<b>camd24</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:36am<b>GreekGleek6</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:17pm<b>JustBeingMe99</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:25pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:16pm<b>himynameiscool1</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Coland</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>swegmuffin</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:15am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:40pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:49pm

alexmisty88's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of alexmisty88's badges

alexmisty88's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

#21511580
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (1162)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm - work - by HeatherFeatherB (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (1265)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

#21491660
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (27246)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

#21491253
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by burnbabyburn - United Kingdom

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

#21469071
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (10247)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (7923)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (7515)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26186) - you deserved it (48051)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (29806)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: