alexissblakee

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Offline (the 08/12/2016 at 1:51am)

alexissblakee

44Fucked!

alexissblakeealexissblakee
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1480
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About alexissblakee : sc:alexisssblakee
instagram: alexissblakee

alexissblakee's page activity

Visits<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:26am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:38am<b>faz_mughal</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:29pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:59am<b>jamesc096</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:05am<b>gerrittd</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 10:37pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:09am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:20am<b>FuckMyLyfer</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 11:00pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:38pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:47pm<b>tmac815</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 9:29am<b>Jacobthewoodsman</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 11:54am<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 8:17am<b>raz416</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:41pm

Fucked!<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 2:01am<b>gerrittd</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:37am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:20pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:40pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:00am<b>Camo23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:07pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:58am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:38am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:35pm<b>mellem16</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:20am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:07am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:34am<b>jaybird2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>welchie155</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:07pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:03pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:04am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:46am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:36am

alexissblakee's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alexissblakee's badges

alexissblakee's favorite FMLs

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

by save me / 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

by Stheno / 09/16/2013 at 8:49am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

by an idiot / 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm / Australia / Money

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation