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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 819
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alcalaboy5 : Just here to past time and meet new people.
Snapchat: alcala_05

Im mainly into drawing, tattoos and sports. Im a college student majoring in business and as well as arts.
I currently have two tattoos, my whole chest and half a sleeve on my right arm

alcalaboy5's page activity

Visits<b>jayy1234</b> - 4 minutes ago<b>jsixx_2541</b> - 17 hours ago<b>frrrrr</b> - 22 hours ago<b>desbuhbear</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:27pm<b>danairis27</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:23pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:58pm<b>tenmathieu</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:27pm<b>magicmay</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:39pm<b>lilithfury</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:19pm<b>girlofwinter</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:45am<b>siona</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 8:50pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:26am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:56pm<b>yzzyfry</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:30pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:57pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:30am<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 9:06am<b>rileysmiley1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:28pm<b>pika_666</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:55am<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:49pm<b>yzzyfry</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 1:26pm<b>leigh_xx</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:44am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:47am<b>ohhmyrahhh</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:04pm<b>_lyricall</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:25am<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Guard_Babe</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 5:32am<b>kramona</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:05pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 9:03pm<b>cmo333</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:15pm<b>aspenkaramarie</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:31pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:55am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:48am

alcalaboy5's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of alcalaboy5's badges

alcalaboy5's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/26/2015 at 12:42am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (4339)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (1982)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:46pm - work - by thankyouforcalling (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (13425)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (6546)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (3892)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32454) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (16268)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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