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Offline (18 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1421
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About alcalaboy5 : Just here to past time and meet new people.
Snapchat: alcala_05

Im mainly into drawing, tattoos and sports. Im a college student majoring in business and as well as arts.
I currently have two tattoos, my whole chest and half a sleeve on my right arm

alcalaboy5's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - 11 hours ago<b>alexisanford</b> - 12 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 5:39pm<b>cat_lady_95</b> - yesterday at 12:11pm<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 1:00am<b>sherri_baby88</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 7:29am<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 12/02/2016 at 8:17am<b>Bekkah_Kathryn_</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 4:14pm<b>melissa2370</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 6:16pm<b>jeremyesgirl</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 5:48pm<b>Juls464</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 3:22pm<b>claudiajean</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 6:53pm<b>dguzman92</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 11:36am<b>jacob111</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 12:31am<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 5:46pm<b>angiesluvstacooo</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 11:52am<b>914smv</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 10:49pm<b>aileen15</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 4:13pm

Fucked!<b>stayydomii</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 6:15pm<b>kitteh86</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 5:03am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:47pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 10:41pm<b>delichick</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:08am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 4:47pm<b>kathii01</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 2:24pm<b>vampy719</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:14am<b>rustybucket</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 10:14am<b>Nancieejayy</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:38am<b>DaddyIssues420</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:05pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:16am<b>lulumars</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:26am<b>missa8604</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 5:54am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 1:29am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:52pm<b>cameowhitten</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:03pm

alcalaboy5's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of alcalaboy5's badges

alcalaboy5's favorite FMLs

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2015 at 12:42am / Health

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

by hbt51 / 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

by Crap / 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML

by thankyouforcalling / 06/01/2015 at 6:46pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

by MuteNToot / 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

by for shite's sake / 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Transportation

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health