aksoccerfreak

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aksoccerfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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50 favourites

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aksoccerfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

by sydneyp3435 / 06/11/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

by Mary / 01/13/2013 at 10:49am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

by Loveless / 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous