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akire1024

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akire1024
  • Town/Country : Hillsboro, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 146
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About akire1024 : It's been years since I created this. Time to edit. I live in Oregon, US. Always fucking wet. We have 3 seasons. Rainy season, cold windy raining season, and hot raining season. I have 2 roommates, My half blind, 30% deaf, diabetic father, and my current boyfriend. We should have a tv show there's so much drama.
Yup so that's about all I think I need to/want to put down here.

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akire1024's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (23872)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (5591)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (17342)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

#7378425
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (6415)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (18863)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)



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