akire1024

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akire1024

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About akire1024 : It's been years since I created this. Time to edit. I live in Oregon, US. Always fucking wet. We have 3 seasons. Rainy season, cold windy raining season, and hot raining season. I have 2 roommates, My half blind, 30% deaf, diabetic father, and my current boyfriend. We should have a tv show there's so much drama.
Yup so that's about all I think I need to/want to put down here.

akire1024's page activity

Visits<b>Internetdude</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>f36k</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Pandamonia88</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:44am<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 1:28am<b>swimgood</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>letmehavemytea</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 8:17pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:59pm<b>bessiemay01</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:42pm<b>mimi_tenten</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:39pm<b>peanutmonster</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:16pm<b>MissDQ</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:10pm<b>SymbolicCymbals</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:13pm<b>astralvagan</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 12:37am<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:25am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:39am<b>possy</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:21am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 12:08pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 8:08pm

akire1024's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of akire1024's badges

akire1024's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

by poops / 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm / United States / Health

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

by life_sucks / 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

by BillLumberg / 02/03/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work