ajeppsen

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 7:23pm)

ajeppsen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15932
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!

ajeppsen's page activity

Visits<b>Jay0501</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:35pm<b>rawrlol91</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:22pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:46am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:39pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 7:38am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:25pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:38am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:26am<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:30pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:55pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:59pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:13am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:55pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:22am<b>Pike313</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:55am<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:13am

ajeppsen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ajeppsen's badges

ajeppsen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

by spandex / 03/24/2009 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

by Myriam / 03/22/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

by froyo / 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm / United States / Love

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

by Godfree / 02/25/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

by starbird / 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

by JRock / 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

by andjusticeforall / 02/15/2009 at 8:28am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation