ajax_united

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Offline (the 04/07/2015 at 9:00pm)

ajax_united

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ajax_united : Spectatum veniunt veniunt spectentur

ajax_united's page activity

Visits<b>nyancait</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:06pm<b>JadeWinter</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:02am<b>veraciouskim</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:59am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 12:40pm<b>SplitEnds</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:38am<b>Chixxapow</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:19am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:55am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 7:27pm<b>A07</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Ang19</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 8:45am<b>Nimmrodel</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:09am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:25am<b>becka2s</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 3:40pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:11am<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:53am

ajax_united's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ajax_united's badges

ajax_united's favorite FMLs

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

by fme / 12/08/2010 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy