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ajackass

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ajackass
  • Town/Country : US of A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 843
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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ajackass's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (2275)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you deserved it (13756)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50137) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (5353)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (8444)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (25577)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (58883)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (41217)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39458) - you deserved it (2381)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57029) - you deserved it (6359)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom



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