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ajackass

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ajackass
  • Town/Country : US of A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 821
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ajackass's FML badges

Consolation prize

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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ajackass's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45270) - you deserved it (8090)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (7830)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, marks my third day of school being closed due to snow. One, and only one, of the teachers has decided that we have to do work online in the meantime. I just so happen to be in three of his classes. FML

#20987643
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38569) - you deserved it (3826)

On 12/10/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51170) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (6017)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (12615)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34568) - you deserved it (16085)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (11315)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41570) - you deserved it (6302)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (2982)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (16989)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (22826)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

#20932303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/24/2013 at 11:52am - work - by s13495 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
336 comments


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