ajackass

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Offline (the 05/05/2015 at 8:23pm)

ajackass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5026
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ajackass's page activity

Visits<b>lashes_to_ashes</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:45am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:42am<b>dread514</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 8:09pm<b>Pearla</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:52pm<b>Blainathar</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:54pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:23pm<b>rich443</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:56pm<b>SarahCecelia</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:33pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 7:28pm<b>drago94</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:02am<b>neeena94</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 11:43pm

ajackass's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of ajackass's badges

ajackass's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm / Slovenia (Ruse Commune) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 10:31am / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Work

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous