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  • Town/Country : Ottawa, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 January 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2286
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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aha_awkward_'s favorite FMLs

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58980) - you deserved it (67827)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69969) - you deserved it (13494)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (53472)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69385) - you deserved it (17536)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML


I agree, your life sucks (86028) - you deserved it (8895)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (28837)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (73374)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (7282)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36906) - you deserved it (7460)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

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