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agentWallflower's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:54am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals
Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML
by Apparently not a writer / 02/20/2013 at 11:36am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Idaho) / Work
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by satanworshipper / 10/18/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Florida) / Work
by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
by fucking pissants / 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML
by td1078 / 05/24/2012 at 11:50am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by merrymary / 01/07/2012 at 6:11am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…