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adultchild

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adultchild
  • Town/Country : maple syrup, pancakes
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About adultchild : Hey I am just a normal gal that likes to read daily mishaps of people to cheer myself up or when I am bored. You are not going to find anything else about me in here so move along

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adultchild's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (2808)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50108) - you deserved it (3547)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47929) - you deserved it (8381)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66546) - you deserved it (5464)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
78 comments

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (9257)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (9278)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (3763)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35935) - you deserved it (11469)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (2904)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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