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adultchild

Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 11:40pm) | Search for a member

adultchild

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5644
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About adultchild : Hey I am just a normal gal that likes to read daily mishaps of people to cheer myself up or when I am bored. You are not going to find anything else about me in here so move along

adultchild's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:34am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:41am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:34am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:35am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:17pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:33pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:20pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:14am<b>decimater</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:29pm<b>thatgirlinoregon</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Hellishowl</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 8:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:51pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 7:17pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 12:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:12am<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 6:24am<b>plum_lovin</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:19pm

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adultchild's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61018) - you deserved it (5984)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43938) - you deserved it (7738)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57002) - you deserved it (5533)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53729) - you deserved it (8530)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you deserved it (27643)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (8251)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (7610)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (54187)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41870) - you deserved it (9041)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (33843)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (24794)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (50614)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48866) - you deserved it (19597)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59082) - you deserved it (10892)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States



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