Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

adultchild

Search for a member

adultchild
  • Town/Country : maple syrup, pancakes
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1380
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About adultchild : Hey I am just a normal gal that likes to read daily mishaps of people to cheer myself up or when I am bored. You are not going to find anything else about me in here so move along

adultchild's last visitors

DMAN80182001YoloXboxSwagolpallyemchocolatPantyGAMESplum_lovinKain713starilechargers2588w_introubleimlifeless2

adultchild's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of adultchild's badges

adultchild's favorite FMLs

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (26486)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (5902)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45371) - you deserved it (2731)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (6421)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (1901)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

#5228035
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (1910)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44550) - you deserved it (7606)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

#5052603
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7034) - you deserved it (53416)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:23am - love - by tryfailtryget11 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (9618)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML

#4533518
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (7319)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm - work - by ParkingGuy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48066) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
816 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (462974)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

#4299529
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (31844)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

#4092385
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5889) - you deserved it (110117)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41779) - you deserved it (5756)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: