About adamo_erebus : Studying to become a legal drug dealer.
adamo_erebus's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
adamo_erebus's favorite FMLs
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:43am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by gabby / 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
by Lovernotafighter / 02/24/2012 at 6:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by MahSquito / 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML
by Insomniac / 02/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States / Kids
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
by ParkerRommel / 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a…