About adamo_erebus : Studying to become a legal drug dealer.
adamo_erebus's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
adamo_erebus's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
by puppylove / 10/20/2012 at 3:16am / United States / Animals
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Pissed / 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
by martinaaah / 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…