About adam97 : I am 18 years old from north Alabama. I play trombone. I am a christian who loves God. I have also developed a thing for Hawaiian shirts.
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adam97's favorite FMLs
by Bahhumbug / 12/22/2014 at 9:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML
by GallowsHumor / 09/15/2014 at 4:28pm / Finland / Work
Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Holidays
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML
by justonce / 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work
by Amsterdamned13 / 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love
Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML
by tdawgg / 09/06/2013 at 10:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…