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Offline (the 11/24/2016 at 12:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1252
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About acommonman : alas, forever alone, yet never lonely

acommonman's page activity

Visits<b>oh2hell</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 9:04am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:41pm<b>FluffyFive0</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:19pm<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:44pm<b>arilsanders</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:32pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 4:31pm<b>fezhafeez</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:08am<b>scaredpollo</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:13am<b>tdakota0408</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:00am<b>Chibi_EB</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:42pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:57am<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Noremac42</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:10pm<b>MyNameIsBeats</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:38am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:25pm<b>bakalov</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:10pm<b>waffleminer25</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:34am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:17pm

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:58am<b>Dphill21</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:51am<b>dreamful_artist</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>WarPanda</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:51am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:34am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:59pm

acommonman's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of acommonman's badges

acommonman's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

by bonehead69 / 05/31/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

by 420curse / 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

by pikachu_43 / 03/21/2015 at 11:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

by looking4newvenue / 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

by -.- / 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

by cardsftw / 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

by mitchell904 / 04/18/2012 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Newport) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.