achillesJC123

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/17/2016 at 5:03am)

achillesJC123

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 July 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14818
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

achillesJC123's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:26am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:35am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:57pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:01am<b>aloha_oe</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:57am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:35am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:36am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:19pm<b>rieebee</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:56pm<b>FmyL6</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:23am<b>lulubelles</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:20pm<b>mr_sarcastic416</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:36pm<b>foxykz</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:32pm

Fucked!<b>arabian22</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:06pm

achillesJC123's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of achillesJC123's badges

achillesJC123's favorite FMLs

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

by blindsparrow / 11/18/2014 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

by ohgosh... / 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

by NoColor / 10/29/2014 at 9:09am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

by thewrittenrebel / 10/28/2014 at 3:40am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

by lady parts / 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love