acertijo

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acertijo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 64150
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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acertijo's page activity

Visits<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:44am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 9:22pm<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:50pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:56am<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 5:38pm<b>whoahanna</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 2:23pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 9:19pm<b>pnkpanther</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:08pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 7:44pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 9:01am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 4:29am<b>badluckbetty13</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 8:00pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:14pm<b>poolguy3</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 7:20am<b>chubs</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 10:41pm<b>micahsherman</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 6:59am<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 9:21pm

acertijo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

acertijo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

by dfan13 / 07/01/2009 at 12:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

by EwFace / 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

by jess / 04/30/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

by apparentlyugly / 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy