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acciofrenchhorn

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 5:50pm) | Search for a member

acciofrenchhorn

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  • Number of visits : 339
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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acciofrenchhorn's page activity

Visits<b>buonotomato</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:06pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:28am<b>RDragonzx</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:10am<b>nchic01</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:54am

acciofrenchhorn's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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acciofrenchhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38104) - you deserved it (6703)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (3341)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (18264)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41053) - you deserved it (9512)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (8735)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (3490)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (36135)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (11529)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (39199)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (16218)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (8186) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

#21077438
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (5284)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (9350)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)



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