About abhi95 : Bleeh!
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abhi95's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…