abentoremember

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abentoremember

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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abentoremember's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of abentoremember's badges

abentoremember's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

by CantPublish / 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

by whoahshloann / 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous