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abdulrezak9393

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abdulrezak9393
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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abdulrezak9393's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68150) - you deserved it (17318)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40469) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (34297)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (7303)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (47091)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (13068)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70053) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (24009)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (26716)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (5017)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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