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  • Number of visits : 156503
  • Number of comments : 2175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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aback's page activity

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aback's favorite FMLs

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (7988)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11573) - you deserved it (76317)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15834) - you deserved it (45892)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8663) - you deserved it (63939)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (10395)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26609) - you deserved it (17726)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53151) - you deserved it (8396)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (5481)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:46am - health - by oww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40993) - you deserved it (25146)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74916) - you deserved it (7097)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (7892) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42123) - you deserved it (11259)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (10190)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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