aback

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aback

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 158519
  • Number of comments : 2175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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aback's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:41am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 8:56pm<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 11:34pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:57pm<b>ILA215</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 12:30am<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 4:28pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 12:20pm<b>potatocouch</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 2:28pm<b>withered</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 3:07am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 12:23am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:23pm<b>GeorgeThatDude</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:46am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:51pm<b>PumaGator</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:39pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 4:42pm<b>Jlee0110</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 5:15pm<b>el_bell3618</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:17pm<b>anonyferret</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:02am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 6:20pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:20pm<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:05pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 3:31pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:35am<b>LordGiblett</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 12:53am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:10pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:36pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:22am<b>grajax</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:56am

aback's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of aback's badges

aback's favorite FMLs

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

by no money anymore / 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm / United States / Money

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm / Mexico (Zacatecas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

by sharon / 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

by djkimmaz / 12/03/2011 at 6:23am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 3:12am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing / 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Health

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

by ironik970 / 09/17/2011 at 2:56am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.