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a_dean87's FML badges
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a_dean87's favorite FMLs
by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
by ohforcheese / 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
by everyonewasstaring / 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my… Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a… Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress…