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_sydneyk_

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_sydneyk_
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_sydneyk_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (15665)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72320) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52168) - you deserved it (6577)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (85124)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69273) - you deserved it (179905)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (118434)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241105) - you deserved it (36575)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States



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