Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_streets_

Search for a member

_streets_
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2960
  • Number of comments : 314
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About _streets_ : Hmm.. Do people even read this? I'm not really sure what to write in here but to further enlighten those of you who were intrigued enough either by my comment or my photo, here is a list of things that I quite like:ApplesMusicRugbyHockeyCriminal MindsBones HorsesSnowmobiling Def leppard Quading ChickenHorror moviesTae kwon do GuitarArtMy dogs (Rottweilers)Ice creamJackassHumorTrucksReadingZombies SleepThe winter/coldMakeupWhiskeyThe color green (specifically lime green)I prefer Popsicle's to freeziesAnd pancakes to waffles. XDGoreLord Of The RingsThe movie Step Brothers Harry potter, hehe ^.^Camping Red dragonRob DyrdekJohnny Knoxville UFCAdam Sandler Dirt Biking The Dudesons VodkaNitro circusThe Oilers And Magnus Pääjärvi > 17 years young, Graduated High School, Canadian eh.. I hope to be a coroner in the future because dead bodies interest me :) cheers!

_streets_'s last visitors

kkong343coolsoccer1234Edogg215missmandersxoxoDropTheDaggerxxex_omernick2356Arni792cracchiolo

_streets_'s FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of _streets_'s badges

_streets_'s favorite FMLs

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (15056)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (7067)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (7164)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (5048)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50898) - you deserved it (7455)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (6078)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (3985)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (22590)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: