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_sempiternus

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_sempiternus

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 May 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1173
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About _sempiternus : ♡ My name's Ari. I'm obsessed with bubble baths and horror movies. Fanatic of ancient mythology and the arts; hobbies include eating pizza and cracking lame jokes.

_sempiternus's page activity

Visits<b>costco96</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ricxrdusrex</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:58am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:03pm<b>BoredChatter1234</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:02pm<b>BadDay98</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:26am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:55pm<b>js48</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:44am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:56pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 5:28am<b>seetei</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:24pm<b>qmac1</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:20pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:03pm<b>austin13125</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:03pm<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 9:22pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:29pm<b>tgodluke</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:36pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:57pm<b>destri23es</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:57am

Fucked!<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:28am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:03pm<b>austin13125</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:53am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:57pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:03pm<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:10pm

_sempiternus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of _sempiternus's badges

_sempiternus's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62269) - you deserved it (27051)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59625) - you deserved it (5454)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44991) - you deserved it (8876)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (13893)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (6482)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (3480)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (48423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (42492)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83514) - you deserved it (11027)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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