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Offline (the 12/08/2016 at 4:55am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4612
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About _kyleG_ : | Violinist | Violist | Biology major | Person |

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. ~Maya Angelou

§ haileyrows is bæ* §
*FML is not a dating service, yet I managed to find the love of my life on here. The world works in strange ways, but this is okay.

People keep fucking me on here, and I don't know if I should feel flattered or vaguely violated.
If you get the location reference, you're awesome.

If you've read this far, you deserve a cookie
( : : )

_kyleG_'s page activity

Visits<b>swervelol</b> - 4 hours ago<b>10nachoman10</b> - 6 hours ago<b>juffy</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 1:36am<b>InLuvWithCandy</b> - the 12/02/2016 at 3:24pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 6:36am<b>declassified</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 12:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 1:58pm<b>TheFeels</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 3:19pm<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 2:18pm<b>LeahBeeMee</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 10:39pm<b>OneTrackMind</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 2:35am<b>anonymous9385</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 8:31am<b>NewUsername</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 12:50am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 2:10am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 1:38pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 8:27pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>InLuvWithCandy</b> - the 12/02/2016 at 9:24pm<b>LeahBeeMee</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 4:39am<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 2:27am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:29am<b>BrailynRaylynn</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:17pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 3:18pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:24am<b>LordCow</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:36pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:04pm<b>Brizee624</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 12:23am<b>Fed21</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:26am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:35pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 4:41pm<b>DBKT</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:59pm<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 5:16pm<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:48am<b>KimJongCole</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 5:07am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 5:19am

_kyleG_'s FML badges

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_kyleG_'s favorite FMLs

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

by unsuccessful popping / 06/18/2015 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

by _kyleG_ / 06/16/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

by Gagging / 06/15/2015 at 7:57am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

by Real Life Sucks / 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm / United States / Money

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

by shitty shit / 05/26/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

by I'm just sick, really / 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 8:58am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

by klutz44 / 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

by topaz23 / 04/16/2015 at 12:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

by nattlecakes / 04/07/2015 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.