_THE_MASTER_

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_THE_MASTER_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2518
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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_THE_MASTER_'s page activity

Visits<b>FMLNotSoOffical</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 9:10pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:16pm<b>LingRay</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:03am<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:40pm<b>lizgb80</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:59am<b>dustynelly2078</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:56am<b>volleyforlife31</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Moonlit054563</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:48pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:28am<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:55am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:09pm<b>kittykat_bw13</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:44pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 9:13pm<b>FOLT</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:47pm<b>bshefler</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:08pm

_THE_MASTER_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

_THE_MASTER_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

by asshole / 10/02/2009 at 1:34am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

by SucksToBeMe / 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

by Cherie / 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

by Ouchithurt / 08/04/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

by deadbunnies / 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

by daisyann / 07/15/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous