About _LapisLazuli_ : I love anime, manga, and video games. I also like mlp.
_LapisLazuli_'s FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
_LapisLazuli_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
by YouDontSay / 05/10/2015 at 11:35am / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML
by assgoblins piss me off / 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Animals
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
- Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize…