Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

_Heisenberg__

Offline (the 12/13/2015 at 4:29pm) | Search for a member

_Heisenberg__

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Albuquerque, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1961 (54 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About _Heisenberg__ : Say my name.

_Heisenberg__'s page activity

Visits<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 1:07am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:52am<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:25am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:54pm<b>General_Cool</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:22pm<b>beararm</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:42am<b>sampick5002</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:55am<b>baker_karlie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:25am<b>Bryce8</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:19am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:08am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Destro109</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:09am<b>CaliCassanova</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:41am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:12am<b>Ikashy73</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Bosspitcher13</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:39pm

Fucked!<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 7:07am<b>General_Cool</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:09pm

_Heisenberg__'s FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of _Heisenberg__'s badges

_Heisenberg__'s favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34888) - you deserved it (3443)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (2917)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (44915)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: