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_Elbyshay_

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_Elbyshay_

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 71
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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_Elbyshay_'s FML badges

50 favourites

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YDI master

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_Elbyshay_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41722) - you deserved it (17480)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56349) - you deserved it (5218) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (8341)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62521) - you deserved it (8911)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50314) - you deserved it (8431)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45368) - you deserved it (6512)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48988) - you deserved it (5848)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (6391)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (4689)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53869) - you deserved it (15035)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51862) - you deserved it (4537)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (6694)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (55513)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)



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