About _Alanna_xx : She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future!
_Alanna_xx's FML badges
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_Alanna_xx's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by take a fucking seat, gran / 12/14/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
by Thai rice mistake / 02/12/2013 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
by Embarrassed / 08/07/2012 at 3:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by peonypiney / 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…