About ZombieSnoopy : "And it's hard to learn And it's hard to love When you're giving me such sweet nothing Sweet nothing, sweet nothing You're giving me such sweet nothing"
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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ZombieSnoopy's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by you're just creepy. / 12/11/2012 at 3:39am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it… Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook.…