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Zoey5683

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Zoey5683

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 980
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Zoey5683 : Rawr!

Zoey5683's page activity

Visits<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 3:05pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:23pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:38pm<b>jeoooooorge</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:52am<b>spatula232</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:08am<b>FailSwitch</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:14pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:47am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:33am<b>andy594328</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:32pm<b>warsun</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:52pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Jasim</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:51am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:25am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:04am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:07am

Zoey5683's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Zoey5683's badges

Zoey5683's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (9932)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (67271)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53158) - you deserved it (7161)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42393) - you deserved it (12432)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (20922)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (6126)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (8296)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (5553)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47315) - you deserved it (2726)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50800) - you deserved it (10892)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (2996)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19839) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)



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