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Zimonada

Offline (the 08/20/2015 at 1:47am) | Search for a member

Zimonada

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7922
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zimonada's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:20am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:27am<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:19pm<b>no1sbusiness</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 3:32pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:15pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 10:54am

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Zimonada's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

#21457897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24119) - you deserved it (2892)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:54am - intimacy - by lonelygal69 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (1885)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

#21441443
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (1770)

On 07/14/2015 at 8:00am - work - by mississpissi (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

#21438439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (5504)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:58am - health - by Softball - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (5475)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (3252)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (7125)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (1715)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (24053)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML



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