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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 7:50pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9585
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zimonada's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:20am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:27am<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:19pm<b>no1sbusiness</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 3:32pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:15pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 9:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 10:54am

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Zimonada's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

by lonelygal69 / 08/19/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

by mississpissi / 07/14/2015 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Transportation

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

by Softball / 07/08/2015 at 9:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

by Luke / 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

by VHBJ / 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

by farf / 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm / Work

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

by queengarmin / 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML