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Zeus99's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/16/2016 at 12:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
by sleepylillion / 04/25/2016 at 1:07am / United States (Hawaii) / Love
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
by hotmess / 04/24/2016 at 11:49pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 12:41pm / United States / Health
Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by only child says fuck you mom / 04/10/2016 at 10:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 10:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 8:55am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Love
by missmcfarty / 03/31/2016 at 9:42pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love