Zeus5

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Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:08pm)

Zeus5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 755
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Zeus5's page activity

Visits<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:24am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:13am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:13am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:16am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Andreeya</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:41am<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:36am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:05pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:09pm<b>krishk123</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 5:52pm<b>the_zero_article</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:10pm<b>shucks101</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:52pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:22am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:37am<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:32pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:36am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:25am

Zeus5's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Zeus5's badges

Zeus5's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

by FMeeee / 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm / Portugal (Aveiro) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 11:24am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

by why / 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy