Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zestus

Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 4:33pm) | Search for a member

Zestus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14533
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Zestus : Mm... Uni student from Tokyo who reads FML's when bored in the morning
Hi.

Zestus's page activity

Visits<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Gman555</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:33pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:23pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>tim_narnimee</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47am<b>adelinchen3</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:23am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:34pm<b>27inch</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:35am

Zestus's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Zestus's badges

Zestus's favorite FMLs

Today, mah friend an I were talking about the creepy stranger that usd to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changd a lot through the years cuz I found out that he's mah current boyfriend of 4 months. big fat FML

#20683515
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57610) - you deserved it (18295)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WENT TO A LOCAL INDIAN TAKEAWAY, SINCE I'M FROM INDIA ORIGINALLY, AN NONE OF MAH FRIENDS SPEAK HINDI . I WENT UP TO THE COUNTER AN PLACED MAH ORDER IN HINDI WITH THE SEEMINGLY INDIAN OWNER . HE GAVE ME A WIERD LOOK AN SAID, "HUH? SPEAK ENGLISH, YA RIMJOB." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (11898)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

I walkd in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71939) - you deserved it (8065)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday, I walked in on my looool brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML

#20602754
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (12525)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. fat FML

Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today , fir the sixth time in a row , I was driving mah kid to school an he made me late fir work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (6218)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today I held hands with the boy I like!! Without thinking I commentd that his right hand is softer as if he only usd lotion on that one hand!! And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence!! FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (15733)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today I Tried To Pick Up A Girl By Asking Herhat The Time Was As A Conversation Starter. She Responded By Telling Me It Was Time To Pick A Girl More In League. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (8439)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (62049)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (5552)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I HAD TO USE A DICTIONARY BEFORE I REALIZD I WAS BIENG FLIRTD WITH. MEGA FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (11121)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: