Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZeroG57

Search for a member

ZeroG57

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ZeroG57's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:21pm

ZeroG57's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ZeroG57's badges

ZeroG57's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (3869)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

#21518472
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (1962)

On 01/23/2016 at 6:26am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML

#21515559
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (1786)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:41am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML

#21515273
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (1634)

On 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by notmyfault - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (6173)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

#21510463
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/02/2016 at 12:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

#21507957
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

#21505390
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (1482)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:12am - misc - by tryingtostealmyheart -

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

#21505094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18198) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/18/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

#21503222
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (1431)

On 12/13/2015 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous -



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: