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ZeroG57

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ZeroG57

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  • Number of comments : 2
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ZeroG57's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:21pm

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ZeroG57's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33116) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (5847)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

#21369784
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (2174)

On 03/07/2015 at 5:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (48572)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (2106)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (54596)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (3139)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29693) - you deserved it (3258)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (6141)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (2502)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33162) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)



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