ZeroG57

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ZeroG57

1Fucked!

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  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ZeroG57's page activity

Visits<b>kaymarfs</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>kaymarfs</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 12:39am

ZeroG57's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ZeroG57's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I found out that if I'm tickled it causes me to have a panic attack until I cry. FML

by RIP / 06/18/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

by ReineXre / 06/14/2016 at 8:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

by LostSleep / 05/24/2016 at 5:54pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML

by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML

by Phycheledic / 05/12/2016 at 6:22am / United States / Kids

Today, I went on a date with my long time crush of three years. Everything was going great, until I found out he supports Donald Trump. FML

by anon / 05/10/2016 at 9:30pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML

by CANTTAKEMORE / 04/26/2016 at 6:24pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, while waiting in line with my 4-year-old son, I had to awkwardly apologize to an African-American gentleman and explain to my son that the man was not made out of chocolate. FML

by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML

by xSusanGeex / 04/09/2016 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.