ZeroG57

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ZeroG57

0Fucked!

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  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ZeroG57's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:21pm

ZeroG57's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ZeroG57's badges

ZeroG57's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I managed to have 17 different nosebleeds throughout the most important job interview of my life. I managed to bleed all over my own suit, my résumé, the carpet, and the corridor leading to the bathroom. FML

by RIPLife / 03/24/2016 at 10:03am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Work

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

by bg4545 / 03/23/2016 at 11:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

by ReComatosed242 / 03/08/2016 at 7:29pm / Bahamas / Work

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

by oops / 03/04/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

by Jif_Creamy / 02/28/2016 at 12:00am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum wants me to see a psychologist because I've been acting strange lately. If by "strange" she means "not wanting to die any more", then sure. But thanks, I could've used that psychologist 3 years ago when I asked for one. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2016 at 3:22pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Health

Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML

by jts / 02/20/2016 at 4:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous