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Zerizle

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Zerizle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5787
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Zerizle's page activity

Visits<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:06am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 11:31am<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:13am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:28pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:30am<b>bc3091</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:53pm<b>jdhyche</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:09am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:02am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:59am<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:50am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:41am<b>flowerfliff</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:00pm<b>thespiantess</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Radioactive_Kiwi</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:46pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:39pm

Fucked!<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:14am

Zerizle's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Zerizle's badges

Zerizle's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (2795)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2384)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

#21438456
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (2684)

On 07/08/2015 at 10:44am - love - by freshly single (woman) - Aruba

Today, I attended a work interview. My hay fever has been flaring up during the hot weather, causing my throat to swell up and make me short of breath, which I explained. The woman interviewing me told me I was unsuccessful, as customers wouldn't be able to understand someone with my 'disability'. FML

#21438401
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (1603)

On 07/08/2015 at 7:01am - work - by FuckPollen (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (1463)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

#21425364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (1759)

On 06/13/2015 at 7:45am - work - by notfuckingpaidenough - United States (California)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26383) - you deserved it (4162)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (8717)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

#21407351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (2078)

On 05/09/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (1917)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML



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