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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 November 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1579
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Zelphoric : Wow. You're on my profile! You probably either like Deadpool or you just clicked my picture on accident. Either way, enjoy your stay, which will probably be around 10 to 15 seconds. :P

Zelphoric's page activity

Visits<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 12:01pm<b>itsmediduno</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 8:58am<b>zeldah</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:33am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:40am<b>stormbreaker_sid</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 11:38am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:44am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 1:52am<b>DannyDizzle</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:13am<b>FACKMALYFFFEEEEE</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:39pm<b>lard_ash84</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:14am<b>Goskick</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:02am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:02am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:43am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:14am<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:32pm<b>GeminiFinger</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:13pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:44pm<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 9:47pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:21pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:52am<b>GeminiFinger</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:13am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:47am<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:44am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:07pm<b>doge750</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>Jstick</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:19pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:29pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:55am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:14am<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 5:27am<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:59am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:55am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:00pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 2:57pm

Zelphoric's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Zelphoric's badges

Zelphoric's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that even though I'm marrying my fiancée in 2 weeks, I don't even love her any more. The only reason I'm doing it is because I don't want to upset her or her family, because they think I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. FML

by DoomsDay / 05/06/2016 at 10:23am / Love

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

by j / 04/18/2016 at 6:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a ticket for driving without insurance. I gave the cop my insurance information, but he said it was invalid because it didn't show an expiration date. When I pointed out the information he was looking for, he ignored me and gave me a ticket anyway. FML

by can you read? / 04/08/2016 at 3:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because tonight I'll be the lead at the opening show of my school musical. This is a dream come true. Too bad I just got bronchitis. FML

by Belle / 04/08/2016 at 2:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:43am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my phone back after bringing it in to get a crack in the screen repaired. The crack is fixed, but now the touch screen doesn't work and it won't connect to the Internet. I essentially paid to have my phone broken even more. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 10:36am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 8:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

by Sandman2015 / 01/29/2016 at 1:36pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

by notanightowlanymore / 01/05/2016 at 12:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 26, I got chicken pox. My parents stand by their belief that I got it because I'm not right with God, not because they didn't vaccinate me. FML

by kinzielee / 01/05/2016 at 12:41pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

by DesperateToBeDad / 12/31/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

by 123literateABC / 11/03/2015 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work